A Vision

Found no better way to say what i think about this day and age than with the words of Simon Armitage...
(thanks to the few people that make this life worth living and this world a better place)

A Vision

The future was a beautiful place, once.
Remember the full-blown balsa-wood town
on public display in the Civic Hall.
The ring-bound sketches, artists’ impressions,
blueprints of smoked glass and tubular steel,
board-game suburbs, modes of transportation
like fairground rides or executive toys.
Cities like dreams, cantilevered by light.
And people like us at the bottle-bank
next to the cycle-path, or dog-walking
over tended strips of fuzzy-felt grass,
or motoring home in electric cars,
model drivers. Or after the late show -
strolling the boulevard. They were the plans,
all underwritten in the neat left-hand
of architects - a true, legible script.
I pulled that future out of the north wind
at the landfill site, stamped with today’s date,
riding the air with other such futures,
all unlived in and now fully extinct.

the hollow

call me what u will, now i will say what i feel

first of all i hate this feeling, this pain in my chest and the hole its digging in me!
i don't know if im a masochist and like to drown in my own misery or im just plain stupid!

why did i open my mouth? just to make me feel worse?

now, lets go back a little bit... just a scene or two, not much has happened since then...

ok, this girl, i didn't know her so much, why did i trust her? i did things so unlike me, i wanted to change myself, to be someone different, fix what was not broken, no, not broken, utterly destroyed, pulverized! IT CANT BE FIXED!!! and thats what makes me who i am... we are all broken somehow, something we wish we could change but... anyways im going out of my way here... where was i? o yes... i trusted her and i don't even know why... maybe i just wanted 2 feel like someone liked me again... good plan that one, well at least now i know one more person i need to keep an eye on...

i tend to leave things unfinished, dont know if this will be an exception or not... but its late... night

ps: i know ill miss this "stupid ache" but right now its just killing me