of choices and regrets...

right now its 6:09 in the morning and im in bed... with the laptop... thinking about life...

you know, every day we have to make choices that in some way or another are going to affect our whole life... today i made one of those choices (one that I've been dragging 4 a few days now)... i just hope its the right one.

i cant help but feel uneasy, im not sure about what im doing, at least to me its the logical thing to do (which actually makes it non-logical at all) and in order to stay true to myself its what i have to do... and still...

i also remembered the day of the car crash, that's officially the worst mistake of my life, thats the kind of mistake i dont wanna end up doing again, thank god no one died that day... i dont know what i would have done... even if the world might be a better place without a few people in it...

its incredible... my life is so easy, even i know that, and yet im bound to the idea that my life is strange, difficult, tasteless, and any other bad adjectives you might wanna add there...

im laying in my bed, with the laptop, writing in my "blog/journal thingy" and thinking about life... cant get much more pathetic than that...

one last thing... i know you cant read this... i know you wouldn't read it even if you could... i know i cant call you or see u, or talk to u in any way anymore, but i miss you, heard this song the other day and to me it talks about not being afraid and fighting for what you believe in even if it kills you in the process, it also reminded me of you... miss u muecosa... miss u ramirez ramirez... miss u...

"Cassie"

The question asked in order
To save her life or take it
The answer no to avoid death
The answer yes would make it
Make it

Do you believe in God
Written on the bullet
Say yes to pull the trigger
Do you believe in God
Written on the bullet
And Cassie pulled the trigger

All heads are bowed in silence
To remember her last sentence
She answered him knowing what would happen
Her last words still hanging in the air
In the air

Do you believe in God
Written on the bullet
Say yes to pull the trigger
Do you believe in God
Written on the bullet
And Rachel pulled the trigger

How many will die
I will die
I, I will say yes

Do you believe in God
Written on the bullet
Say yes to pull the trigger
Do you believe in God
Written on the bullet
And Cassie pulled the trigger

(Do you believe)
Do you believe in God (Do you believe)
Do you believe in God (Do you believe)
Do you believe in God
And I will pull the trigger